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  • 1 minute ago
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deerekhale:

*sirius black voice* remus will you kill this spider for me

*remus lupin voice* is it trying to hurt you, sirius

*sirius black voice* its on my bed and hurting my heart 

*quiet james potter voice* engorgio

*loud, horrified sirius black shrieking*

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  • 11 hours ago
  • 73203

lookslikeazipper:

Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT

I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON

HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF

AM I DREAMING

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  • 11 hours ago
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seriousjones:

gluten free person: excuse me, but do you have any gf options?

me:

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  • 1 day ago
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nuclearnyx:

my anaconda don’t want none

unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON

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